abetterchat

Snowplow parenting along with helicopter, free-range, tiger, etc. are labels that group certain parents into certain categories. Gone are the days, when parents were either “good” “bad” or “trying hard.” (It’s worth noting that most parents are “trying hard.”)

Today is different.

Parents are types of parents. Their behaviors label them. They even label themselves.

At one time, we called this stereotyping.

Should we like stereotyping? Didn’t we put that behind us – like years ago as in decades ago? We recognized that stereotyping encouraged prejudices. Not good.

So, keep it simple! Stick with “trying hard” parents, even saying it has a calming effect. And let’s face it – parents need all the calming they can get. It’s not easy being a parent.

If you are a young or new parent, do yourself a big favor; focus on your child and his/her wants/needs. You should understand this one indisputable truth… It is not about ME; it is about THEM (your children).

When you get up in the morning, think this thought – what is best for my child? Parenting is a responsibility, a responsibility that you want because the joys of parenting are almost impossible to measure.

Let’s be clear – this does not mean that your child gets to run you ragged. That’s the “parenting” part.

“I’m a parent!” That is the only label you need!

My name is Susana and I hope to share parenting dos and don’ts with you in the coming weeks and months. Please stop by again.

How do you respond when someone says you made a mistake?

Do you ignore the person, get angry, or acknowledge your mistake?

Before examining your response to someone else’s criticism, first examine your own reaction to the mistake you made.

Making a mistake may be insignificant or catastrophic in life.

Purchasing the wrong product because you did not read the label may not be a life altering experience, just down right annoying – waste of time and money.
On the other hand, buying the first used car that the sales person showed you on the car lot, trusting this person to be honest, sincerely looking out for your best interest, then two weeks later finding yourself looking for a transmission specialist reflects the kind of mistakes everyone dreads.

Many of life’s lessons are learned the hard way.

Are you hard on yourself or do you make excuses? If there is anger – is it directed inwardly or is it toward that other person or both?

To compound matters and make things “big time” worse, did someone try to give you some decent advice, before you made that whopper mistake, but you ignored it?

Are they rubbing it in to your open emotional wound and now it really stings – “I told you so!”
Maybe they say absolutely nothing but a shrug, a roll of the eye, or a quiet negative shake of the head stills conveys it all – you idiot!

It’s no news flash – we’ve all experienced it at least once in our lives. Nonetheless, it never gets easier. However, your reaction to your mistakes and the criticism of others is where the personal growth or downfall lies.

Having the ability to face mistakes, head on, is a must kind of thing to have. This is the backbone to build. It is the structure that will keep you moving forward and learning from the mistakes.

If you maintain your stance that it was not your fault, or if you nurture self-defeating attitudes and believe the worst about yourself, you are not striving to reach your human potential.

The ability to grow is within you.

Mistakes – they come, they go but so long as you accept and learn, change what is necessary so you do not repeat mistakes then what is possible is always reassuringly available.

So, when advice comes, or criticism is made – don’t reject, don’t throw it back at the person(s) who is doing you a kindness. Look at and evaluate your thoughts – be sincere, face-up to your own thoughts, admit what you must, and be thankful for the words of others and then appreciate your ability to grow and move on.

Mistakes

The Past – Reminders – some embarrassing, some to live on with – permanent because of choices back then.
The Present – Opportunities – now do homework/research, no more quick spur-of-the-moment decisions, avoid those whoppers.
The Future – Ability to Help Others – to avoid similar mistakes, at least that’s the plan!

You messed up! What you do in the follow-up says more about who you are than your actual mistake!