Enjoy Quality Time With Your Children

January 13, 2023January 12, 2023 SuzanneLeave a comment

Time flies. Right? Before you know it, your precious youngsters are going to school, then college, then work, then… they visit you.

These are wonderful days. It may be challenging, but do not allow life’s stresses to steal quality time with your children.

To do so requires self-examination and of course… planning.

Know yourself – a little time to reflect on your current lifestyle is crucial. What are the triggers that easily throw off your best intentions. For many parents the distractions come from their phones. Notifications, by design, are set up for the receiver to take immediate action. The reality is – they can be ignored. Your child, on the other hand, should not be ignored if ‘quality time’ is your objective. Think – “I can mute my phone. I cannot mute my child.” It’s a priority thing.
There are times when you and your child’s plans are interrupted for legitimate reasons – someone knocks on the door, it’s the courier. Will this interruption last 2 minutes or 2 hours. Receiving the package is quick. Opening the package may throw off your best intentions if the product isn’t what you ordered and you’re ‘forced’ to contact the sender, etc. etc. You get the picture. Unexpected things do come up from time to time. How you assess and react may require some pre-planning. Think – triage. Do what must be done to handle the interruption efficiently and put off the rest until the timing is better for you and your child. Again – a priority thing.
Recognize/appreciate the characteristics of quality time – there are no set rules here. The amount of time you spend with your child will vary. Listening to their thoughts may only take 5 minutes out of your schedule, but your undivided attention matters to your little one. Take advantage of those precious moments and structure your body language to reflect your deep interest. Do you stop what you are doing to fully listen? Or do you simply nod along at what seems to be appropriate intervals? One thing is for sure – your child will know the difference.

Shared moments today will become fulfilling memories tomorrow.

Children may not recall the number of times you took them to the park, but they will remember enjoying their play time experience if they felt safe and had fun.
How you handle their problems will resonate throughout their formative years. Shouting, grounding, assorted punishments, and so forth do little in helping them know how to resolve their very real crises. A little empathy, thoughtful suggestions, and helping them understand real life consequences are far more meaningful than doing without ice cream for the next six months, which everyone knows is impossible.
Going the extra mile for your child might mean assistance with homework, reminding them to brush their teeth, helping them to keep there room neat and tidy, or encouraging words before a team sport. Consistency is key.

The rewards of good parenting may or may not be felt at the moment, but they will manifest themselves during the gratifying times you’ll spend with your ‘grown’ children, as you recall special moments during those… future visits.

Suzanne Rightley is an author of children’s fiction. Visit her author page for a complete list of her books.

parents · Teens · Work Ethics · Work Experience

Why Building a Teen’s Work Ethic Has Never Been More Important

January 5, 2023February 2, 2023 SuzanneLeave a comment

Work Ethic and the benefits of part-time and/or summer job work experience should top your teenager’s ‘to do’ list this year.

The first thing that will likely pop into your son or daughter’s mind – on the prospects of having a part-time or summer job is… money. They will focus on what they’ll earn, and what they can buy, but as a parent, you should know that the benefits go beyond the pay cheques.

Having a boss: A boss is very different than a parent or teacher.

A boss tells you what to do (which is similar to a parent or teacher).
However, with a boss, there’s no room for argument (unlike the aforementioned, who tend to listen/tolerate, ready to explain/instruct… with patience).
There’s a required nurturing presence with parents and teachers, which is typically (often by necessity) lacking in a boss.

If a young employee’s thoughts run contrary to the instructions he or she is given… and should this young employee decide to argue in defense of his or her ideas… then guess what… this particular young employee may not have their job for long.

Teens feel comfortable at home (rightly so) and they like to have their say (Think: voicing their complaints, whining, attempting to reason etc., you get the idea.)

For your teenager… this new ‘work experience’ can be an eye-opener.

The boss is right. That’s it. Whether the boss is actually right or wrong, has nothing to do with it. He or she is right, by nature of the fact, that he or she is the boss.

Your teen will figure that out quickly! Hopefully! Or… there goes the job!

A Discussion on Life Skills They’ll Acquire…

Self-discipline

Showing up, to work, on time, no excuses… requires a great deal of self-discipline.

Now, if you are the type of parent who makes sure he or she gets there on time — you prepare the lunchbox, you set the alarm, you yell at him/her until they finally get up, you make breakfast, etc., then…well…you are the one who is self-disciplined (but you already knew that).

However, if your teen takes the initiative for all of the above, then they already know a thing or two about being self-governing (congratulations… mom & dad… you’ve already done something right along the way).

But… like most teens, they might need some pushing, reminding, and so forth…, but hey, that’s all part of what a part-time or summer job can do for your son or daughter.

Thanks to you… and thanks to the job… your teen is developing a strong character trait.

Discretion

If there is ever a place to learn that it is best to keep your mouth shut, and not get caught up in gossip and slander — it’s at work.

when to report a problem from when to let it go
how to speak in a manner that does not offend
not contributing to rumours or spreading private information

These are things that are best learned through experience. Sure, you can explain all of the above, but words are only words until they make sense. The daily practice of discretion, is where the necessity for it is learned.

Team work

Seems obvious, but as many of us can attest, the workplace is frought with problems, because many people lack the skills to be quality team members.

‘Getting the job done’ may sound like the most important thing (and it is), but how co-workers ‘get the job done’ is where the joy of employment-based team work truly shines.

Furthermore, in the hustle and bustle of work… people often get their toes stepped on, they get offended, and so forth. Learning how to navigate through difficulties, without dwelling on the hurt feelings, is a great lifeskill to develop. The old adage of ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ is a key aspect of team work.

Endurance

An eight hour day, with only two fifteen minute breaks and an hour for lunch is a lot for your son or daughter to get through at first.

No checking in with his friends, via social media avenues, is a big deal. Is that even possible? (Ha-ha)

To do a proper job, requires focus… Your teen will learn that the phone is a distraction they cannot afford, if they want to do the job well, get paid, earn a good future reference, and basically…

Not get fired!

Humility

Sports can build a sense of pride and accomplishment … and that’s great. Work can build upon this as well, but there’s more.

Your son or daughter will come to recognize their ability to follow instruction, to practice self-control, to be responsible, and accountable for their actions.

This requires not pride, but rather humility. A humble person can be told what to do, and be willing to do the job they are being paid to do.

The Ah Moments of Those Days Off

Reading is still a great way to relax and enjoy some much needed quiet time. In a fast-paced, social-frenzied world, reading remains a positive influence for teens. Their brains continue to develop during these formative years – a little peace and quiet is helpful and more importantly – necessary.

In Suzanne Rightley’s book Stick to Irons one teen discovers that the challenges of making career decisions, is harder than he thought. But thanks to his friends, family, and… his summer job… he’ll learn a lot about himself and what his future may hold.

Ivey Sisters, P.I. explores the mysteries and thrills of inheriting a detective agency. Being a business partner, while continuing her education, presents many challenges for Claire, but with determination and support from family, friends, and co-workers, detective work is… well… fun.

For more books written by Suzanne Rightley visit her author page here.

suzannerightley.com

Thanks for the visit.

Character Development · formative years · Opinions · Parent and child relationships · Parenting · Society and Values

Nameless Behind a Steering Wheel

December 10, 2022December 10, 2022 SuzanneLeave a comment

For some outraged drivers, sitting in the driver’s seat, affords them the freedom to yell and criticize other drivers and pedestrians.

Why is that?

The thing is, most of these same outraged people, would never vent, up close and personal, in someone’s face but within the confines of their vehicles, they become the all-knowing ‘superior drivers’ when they compare themselves to other motorists.

Their driving skills are exceptional (after all).

Sobering Fact: This blog is not likely to sway such drivers because… they already know their behaviour is unbecoming but the venting time is something they need (crave maybe) in efforts to derive a sense of control.

Surely there are other reasons, but the point of this blog is not to psychoanalyze, but rather to look at this from another vantage point… let’s say from the eyes of a five-year-old child.

OOPS!

Consider the following example…

A mom standing at a busy intersection holding her young son’s hand. The boy has his backpack proudly secured over his slim shoulders wearing a grin from ear to ear. He’s excited about going to school.

It’s a busy area with city buses coming and going in all directions because, beside a local elementary school, this is a popular bus stop for university and college students as well. Plus, there are commuters on their way to work.

As the boy and his mom wait to cross the busy street, a bus pulls up to take on ten to fifteen passengers. One of the would be passengers is an elderly man with a cane. He’s slow. Very slow…and many people are huffing about the delay but they keep silent.

Just another day in a busy life. The mom barely notices while the child seamlessly absorbs what he witnesses.

Here’s where it gets interesting…

A motorist pulls up behind the aforementioned bus and is halted, forced to come to a standstill. The other lanes are moving along at a snail’s pace, bumper to bumper. No quick lane change for the now temporarily ‘parked’ motorist.

The honking starts.

Yep… the driver is officially ‘ticked’ at the city bus. The hand goes down heavy on the horn.

From an objective (as opposed to subjective) bystander’s point of view it would go something like… “Hey, what do you expect the bus driver to do? Push a non-existent hydraulic button to raise the bus so you, ‘the important and impatient motorist’, can drive smoothly/safely under the bus?”

Ridiculous… sure. But isn’t honking at a city bus, who is…by nature of the job, at a standstill to allow commuters to board?

Aside from the obvious futility of the motorist’s outrage, at a city bus driver, is the mother’s indifference. She does not bend down to her child’s eye level and explain that the behaviour is not acceptable. What her son is seeing is a lack of patience, consideration, and etc.

For her, this is simply another ‘expected’ behaviour and therefore she gives it little thought…if any.

Meanwhile, her 5 year-old son, seamlessly absorbs what he witnesses. He assimilates the scene as ‘normal’ behaviour.

As motorists – we can do better.

As parents and other significant adults – we can take a moment to explain. Otherwise, in a few short years, this same 5 year-old will become another nameless driver who indulges in the freedom to vent at other ‘idiots’ on the road. Let’s face it… his driving skills are exceptional (after all).

Thanks for the visit

Suzanne Rightley is the author of several children’s fictional stories. Visit her author page here or website @ suzannerightley.com

Opinions · Parenting · Society and Values

Thoughtful Words or Thoughtless Remarks

December 1, 2022 SuzanneLeave a comment

To coin an old phrase… ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but…’

About that but part…

Of course, most of us are familiar with this adage…for good reason. We recognize the second part for what it is…bravado. The truth is a different matter, because yes…words can, and do, most certainly hurt us.

Whether we admit it or not, words affect us.

Kind, thoughtful words encourage, while hateful, judgmental words tear us down.

Furthermore, social media has added a whole new dimension to ‘conversations’ and not always for the best.

It’s easy to fire off a comment, a rebuttal, a criticism considering the anonymity of the Internet. A thoughtless remark has no consequence to the one making it… but to the recipient… well, the words may ‘sting’.

Much has been said about this and a lengthy post is not needed. We get it. However, a reminder, once in a while, may help us to do better.

With that in mind… consider a slight pause before pushing that send button. Think… “Would I say this, to this person, if I were face to face with him or her?”

Moreover, if we are parents, guardians, and teachers, let’s not forget – for a moment – the example we set for our children. We have the responsibility of helping them to adjust and grow into their soon to be adult-selves. If we ever hope for a kinder world, we ought to consider the impact we make on the future generation.

Suzanne Rightley is an author of children’s fiction stories. Visit her author page for a list of her books.

Visit her website at suzannerightley.com