Time flies. Right? Before you know it, your precious youngsters are going to school, then college, then work, then… they visit you.
These are wonderful days. It may be challenging, but do not allow life’s stresses to steal quality time with your children.
To do so requires self-examination and of course… planning.
- Know yourself – a little time to reflect on your current lifestyle is crucial. What are the triggers that easily throw off your best intentions. For many parents the distractions come from their phones. Notifications, by design, are set up for the receiver to take immediate action. The reality is – they can be ignored. Your child, on the other hand, should not be ignored if ‘quality time’ is your objective. Think – “I can mute my phone. I cannot mute my child.” It’s a priority thing.
- There are times when you and your child’s plans are interrupted for legitimate reasons – someone knocks on the door, it’s the courier. Will this interruption last 2 minutes or 2 hours. Receiving the package is quick. Opening the package may throw off your best intentions if the product isn’t what you ordered and you’re ‘forced’ to contact the sender, etc. etc. You get the picture. Unexpected things do come up from time to time. How you assess and react may require some pre-planning. Think – triage. Do what must be done to handle the interruption efficiently and put off the rest until the timing is better for you and your child. Again – a priority thing.
- Recognize/appreciate the characteristics of quality time – there are no set rules here. The amount of time you spend with your child will vary. Listening to their thoughts may only take 5 minutes out of your schedule, but your undivided attention matters to your little one. Take advantage of those precious moments and structure your body language to reflect your deep interest. Do you stop what you are doing to fully listen? Or do you simply nod along at what seems to be appropriate intervals? One thing is for sure – your child will know the difference.
Shared moments today will become fulfilling memories tomorrow.
- Children may not recall the number of times you took them to the park, but they will remember enjoying their play time experience if they felt safe and had fun.
- How you handle their problems will resonate throughout their formative years. Shouting, grounding, assorted punishments, and so forth do little in helping them know how to resolve their very real crises. A little empathy, thoughtful suggestions, and helping them understand real life consequences are far more meaningful than doing without ice cream for the next six months, which everyone knows is impossible.
- Going the extra mile for your child might mean assistance with homework, reminding them to brush their teeth, helping them to keep there room neat and tidy, or encouraging words before a team sport. Consistency is key.
The rewards of good parenting may or may not be felt at the moment, but they will manifest themselves during the gratifying times you’ll spend with your ‘grown’ children, as you recall special moments during those… future visits.
Suzanne Rightley is an author of children’s fiction. Visit her author page for a complete list of her books.
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