Author: Suzanne

Suzanne writes children’s fiction. Her stories span mystery, sports, and career themes, but her deepest passion lies in inspiring kids to make healthy choices. With childhood diseases on the rise, she’s focused her storytelling on wellness, fitness, and nutrition—creating characters who model vibrant, health-conscious living. Suzanne lives in Alberta.
Opinions

Opinions – Got Any?

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Opinions, everyone has at least two. Right? Am I coining that old phrase correctly?

No matter.

People have had opinions, as in, forever. Opinions, having them or not having them, is a fundamental ‘feature’ of humanity. We could go so far as to call it a human trait or characteristic. Very. Bold. Statement.

Animals, on the other hand, don’t seem to have opinions. Now some pet owners may argue that point and I might be willing to concede to those who may voice their opinions on this subject.

I would gladly enter a discussion and appreciate the thoughts of pet lovers. I may or may not agree, I may or may not change my views. Whose to say? But in the end, I’m thinking I would benefit from such a discourse. And who knows, a few pet lovers out there, may actually appreciate my opinions.

Moving on…

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase ‘please, keep your opinions to yourself’ once or twice in your life time?

I know, I know – the reality is, you’ve heard it a lot.

“Keep your opinions to yourself, please!”

  • Maybe you’ve said it yourself—out loud. Gasp!
  • Maybe you’ve just thought it—an awful lot. Double Gasp!!

But here’s the thing—somehow, throughout your years spent on this earth, you’ve acquired a filter, out of necessity. Survival.

Whether you’ve held back a ‘keep your opinion to yourself’ in the quietness of your thoughts, it suffices to say, you’ve thought it, frequently. Let’s be honest here.

Did you hold it back out of politeness or fear of having your face punched in? Whatever the reason, you made the choice. Somehow, thankfully, you’ve acquired the skill set to discern the situation, and make the right choice, on the spot. We hope anyway.

Opinions – the upside

Because of ‘opinions’ you’ve…

  1. Learned a lot about yourself and how you ‘fit in’
  2. Learned a lot about the people you’ve encountered and how they ‘fit in’

Being able to voice your opinions and listening to others has been helpful on many levels.

If you voiced a strong belief and it was not well-received, you may have considered re-thinking your position or maybe their adverse reaction served you well and solidified your beliefs. Hearing “well, that’s your opinion” more or less confirmed the fact – this person, stubbornly, does not agree with you.

Furthermore, hearing the opinions of others have greatly contributed to your choice of close friends, trusted business associates, and even your soulmate – if you’ve been blessed to find this person.

Imagine what it would mean, if you could never trust your senses, your decisions, about yourself and others, because you, and they, were never permitted to voice opinions?

  • What if you, and the people you meet, never expressed thoughts and beliefs?
  • What if you could never have an open discussion?

Today, many people are saying they have their ‘freedom of speech’ infringed upon. I’m not debating that point one way or another. I choose to keep my opinion to myself.

What I am putting out there, as something to consider, is the possibility of a greater problem.

If we, as individuals, feel threatened by what might happen if we voice our opinions, will we…

  1. Simply shut up and keep our values and beliefs to ourselves?
  2. Sadly realize that our opinions do not matter anyway?
  3. Change what we say in order to disguise our true thoughts/feelings
  4. Ultimately, lose our ability to form lasting trust in our relationships?

Opinions have shaped our lives for centuries. If we are not careful, opinions will no longer provide us the necessary tools to assist in our perception/judgments of the world that surrounds us.

  • People will only say what they are expected to say – they will not voice their thoughts and feelings freely.
  • We won’t know who we are anymore.

Gasp! We might become like our pets—and have no opinions. Hey, hold on, all you pet-lovers, don’t get angry with me, after all, we haven’t had that particular discussion yet.

Thanks for visiting abetterchat today.

Parenting

How to Avoid Parental Labels

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Snowplow parenting along with helicopter, free-range, tiger, etc. are labels that group certain parents into certain categories. Gone are the days, when parents were either “good” “bad” or “trying hard.” (It’s worth noting that most parents are “trying hard.”)

Today is different.

Parents are types of parents. Their behaviors label them. They even label themselves.

At one time, we called this stereotyping.

Should we like stereotyping? Didn’t we put that behind us – like years ago as in decades ago? We recognized that stereotyping encouraged prejudices. Not good.

So, keep it simple! Stick with “trying hard” parents, even saying it has a calming effect. And let’s face it – parents need all the calming they can get. It’s not easy being a parent.

If you are a young or new parent, do yourself a big favor; focus on your child and his/her wants/needs. You should understand this one indisputable truth… It is not about ME; it is about THEM (your children).

When you get up in the morning, think this thought – what is best for my child? Parenting is a responsibility, a responsibility that you want because the joys of parenting are almost impossible to measure.

Let’s be clear – this does not mean that your child gets to run you ragged. That’s the “parenting” part.

“I’m a parent!” That is the only label you need!

My name is Susana and I hope to share parenting dos and don’ts with you in the coming weeks and months. Please stop by again.

Habits to Change

Mistakes

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How do you respond when someone says you made a mistake?

Do you ignore the person, get angry, or acknowledge your mistake?

Before examining your response to someone else’s criticism, first examine your own reaction to the mistake you made.

Making a mistake may be insignificant or catastrophic in life.

  • Purchasing the wrong product because you did not read the label may not be a life altering experience, just down right annoying – waste of time and money.
  • On the other hand, buying the first used car that the sales person showed you on the car lot, trusting this person to be honest, sincerely looking out for your best interest, then two weeks later finding yourself looking for a transmission specialist reflects the kind of mistakes everyone dreads.

Many of life’s lessons are learned the hard way.

Are you hard on yourself or do you make excuses? If there is anger  – is it directed inwardly or is it toward that other person or both?

To compound matters and make things “big time” worse, did someone try to give you some decent advice, before you made that whopper mistake, but you ignored it?

  • Are they rubbing it in to your open emotional wound and now it really stings – “I told you so!”
  • Maybe they say absolutely nothing but a shrug, a roll of the eye, or a quiet negative shake of the head stills conveys it all – you idiot!

It’s no news flash – we’ve all experienced it at least once in our lives. Nonetheless, it never gets easier. However, your reaction to your mistakes and the criticism of others is where the personal growth or downfall lies.

Having the ability to face  mistakes, head on, is a must kind of thing to have. This is the backbone to build. It is the structure that will keep you moving forward and learning from the mistakes.

If you maintain your stance that it was not your fault, or if you nurture self-defeating attitudes and believe the worst about yourself, you are not striving to reach your human potential.

The ability to grow is within you.

Mistakes – they come, they go but so long as you accept and learn, change what is necessary so you do not repeat mistakes then what is possible is always reassuringly available.

So, when advice comes, or criticism is made – don’t reject, don’t throw it back at the person(s) who is doing you a kindness. Look at and evaluate your thoughts – be sincere, face-up to your own thoughts, admit what you must, and be thankful for the words of others and then appreciate your ability to grow and move on.

Mistakes

  • The Past – Reminders – some embarrassing, some to live on with – permanent because of choices back then.
  • The Present – Opportunities – now do homework/research, no more quick spur-of-the-moment decisions, avoid those whoppers.
  • The Future – Ability to Help Others – to avoid similar mistakes, at least that’s the plan!

You messed up! What you do in the follow-up says more about who you are than your actual mistake!